-surprise:

-surprise:

me trying to reach goals in my life

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and when i reach them

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bewbin:

bakrua:

bewbin:

Why do people drink alcohol it tastes disgusting

you don’t drink it for the taste. u drink shit like apple juice for the taste. you drink alcohol to get rid of the bad taste that every awful person in your life has left

u have no idea just how much i hate this post. this was a joke about gettign fucked up on pepsi then some charles Bukowski impersonator decides to write something more cliche than an anime protagonist using the power of freindship

dlubes:

bewbin:

fast and slightly agitated 

how do you know my nickname in bed

sweet-bitsy:

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"Boys won’t like you if you dress in lolita"

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ambisagrus:

no image has ever described my life quite so well

ambisagrus:

no image has ever described my life quite so well

princessannaofarandelle:

searlait:

eatherstar:

thedoctorknows:

NO NO GUYS THIS WAS REALLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT WAS THE FIRST TIME ELSA SAW HER CREATE LIFE WITH HER POWERS

"Oh, god. I’m a mother."

So the gloves were like…

*shuts up*

*whispers*

condoms

sassykardashian:

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

The Creation

thebunnyofevil:

This is what happens when I have a 4:30AM taxi ride for a 6AM airport flight back home…

Enjoy?

Credits: 
Concept/Mix/VA by Michaela Laws

———— TRANSCRIPT ————

Day one of testing for Test Animatronic F. “Freddy”. I’ve been assigned to create the mascots for an upcoming children’s pizzeria on a wellpaid commission. Since this is my first commission assignment, I will be recording my experiences and findings with these test animatronics. Oh this is exciting! Well, from the looks of it, Freddy seems to be functioning really well. His movements aren’t as sharp as normal animatronics, which is good. It makes him more realistic. I placed a soundbyte in his endoskeleton to play whenever the lights go off so, in case the pizzeria has a black out, the kids won’t freak out. I figured they’d like that as part of the commission. It’s one of my favorite opera pieces: Toreador from Carmen. The kids will like that, right? All in all, his motions are really fluid and his speakers are really clear. I have to say this one’s a success. Um, note: Add some sort of laughter for human effect; not sure if a childish laugh or a deep-toned laugh.

——

Day fourteen of testing for Test Animatronic C. “Chica”. For some ungodly reason, the establishment wants to have a duck to be with a bear and a bunny, Test Animatronics F and B. I was given a design and was not surprised to see a chubby duck with a bib. Bigger animatronics are already hard to make. Hey, it’s good pay. You’ll be famous eventually. Just make it work. Chica moves a little slow, but likes to keep focus on the living person in the room. When I let her free roam, she continuously keeps her eyes on me. It’s a bit unnerving, but then again, it’s an AI. Need to work on it. Haha. Eh hopefully Bonnie will be fixed as well. Bonnie somehow has that tendency. Freddy doesn’t seem to have much a problem, though, which is really nice. Note: For some reason, when I look away, Chica starts makes a chattering noise. Same thing happens with Bonnie. Fix it.

——

Day twenty-eight of testing for Test Animatronic P. “Pirate Fox”. What kind of establishment is this place going for? A bear, a duck, a bunny, and a pirate fox? What do they even have in common? Anyway, from what I’ve been told, the fox is part of a special display called Pirate’s Cove. What a pirate cove would be doing in a pizzeria is beyond me, but they wanted the whole shabang: eye-patch, hook, the works. I was little skeptical about the hook, being that it’s a kid’s place, but they insisted. In the test run, the fox, I’ll name him Foxy, moves very fast and fluidly. However, once he stops, he almost freeze and act like a robot again with snaps into each movement. I’ll have to run some tests. I also have to dull out that hook so it’s safe for kids. Note: Someone keeps banging on the doors late at night before I leave. Not sure if it’s that stupid prankster security guard or the machines. Deactivate the machines at night. Maybe that might be the problem.

——

Day thirty-nine. So I just found out that, if you deactivate the machines at night, their primary functions  go haywire. Great. Now I have to fix them all. Might as well keep them all in free roam mode. They didn’t go haywire then. I’m just going to give them to the pizzeria as is. They can deal with it. Note: fix the paint job on Freddy. He looks more gold than brown.

——

Day fourty-four. Something happened and I don’t know what to do. That pervert security guard that watches the lab at night wasn’t there to greet me in the morning… when I walked into the lab, there was a trail of… No. It… It couldn’t have been it. There was no body. There definitely wasn’t a body. There was nothing to worry about. It was just really odd. He probably was just trying to pull a prank on me or something like that. I need to fix the AI’s anyway. Note: Fix the free-roam mode. Make sure they don’t just wander around aimlessly.

——

This… may be my last recording… Day.. no… Night 5 of this occuring. This is the fifth night the animatronics have come banging on my door. I thought I sealed them in their containers to be sent to the pizzeria, but they somehow got out and have made their way to my lab just before I locked up for the night… They’ve completely surrounded the door to the hallway. I’m trapped.  I’m not even sure what they want from me. I mean, they’re just machines. They don’t have real thought… do they? I… I mean… If I make it, then I’m going to deactivate those robots and I’m just going to have to decline that commission. I… I think I may have created something that’s well beyond the control of humans. I — ahh?

Oh god. No No! Get Away FRom Me! NO—

giveamanagame:

captainjamestklrk:

MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE

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SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING. 

your bird is an asshole