officialunitedstates:

me when I see a train:  look there’s a train

vefortune:

Hello I'm back (Source)| vF

nation-of-homeskillets:

he knows what hes done

officialunitedstates:

me at the club picking up girls:  hey how are you doing.  I would ask for your number but I already know it.  you’re #1.  I’ll call you later

Do you think you're funnier than most of the popular youtubers

Anonymous

bewbin:

i know i funnier than my mom. compared to me she is a 2 bit comic AT BEST

bukkakehokage:

girl: spank me daddy

me: I am not ready to be a father

microsoftbob:

microsoftbob:

when boys hold u by yr waist and make you feel tiny
when you kiss boys and you can feel their stubble
freckles on boy
body hair on boy
spooning with boys
when boys get hard while spooning and you can feel it and its really cute
boys in the abstract
boy

1 year later and I’m a lesbian